This is our talking Dr. Laura doll. Cyrus got it for his birthday. It says, "I want to pinch your head off." I can't, for the life of me, figure out why the makers of this doll would want to include this sound byte. It makes her sound really creepy. Her face doesn't help matters.
I used to listen to Dr. Laura all the time. Then I found myself starting to occasionally agree with her. Then I actually began dressing up like her in private and giving unsolicited advice to telemarketers. Instead of saying, "Hello," or "Bueno," I would answer the phone saying, " I am my kid's mom. I would end all calls "Now......go do the right thing."
I even began sailing. I started my own jewelry business.
I converted to Judaism.
I began training in Karate.
I drank one glass of wine at dinner and I wasn't going to apologize for it.
Needless to say, I was a mess. I had to cut myself off from Dr. Laura. A clean break. I had to think about the children.
It's been 2 years since I've listened. I feel really good. I was starting to think that maybe I could turn on the radio soon.
But then Cyrus got that damn talking doll, and ever since I've been feeling like I'm one crackrock away from sucking cock under the bridge for my fix.
I'll be okay. I just gotta get to a meeting.
You mean we're supposed to get a crack rock for that?
ReplyDeleteSick - o! ROFLOL
Oh. My God. That is SUCH a coincidence! I've been doing the same with Dr. Phil. But instead of answering the phone with "I am my kids mom", I answer with "I eat my kids shit". It is always quite a delightful conversation that ensues, especially when my parents call.
ReplyDeleteI also wonder, when I suck cock under the bridge, I'm only given rocks. Are they supposed to have crack inside? I see no crack. I see my own crack. Damn.