Look at my finger.

When I was about 8 years old I started getting into trouble with my dirty little mouth.

I think the first incident was when I called my aunt a bimbo. I had no idea what that meant.

Then one day over at Grandma's, while having a nice little family viewing of that triumph of filmmaking Lady Hawke, I shouted "COCKSUCKER!" to the VCR when the tape stopped abruptly. I had no idea what that meant.

The entire room dropped its jaws to the floor and shot me with eye lasers. My grandmother, shrieked at me "What did you say??!!"

Me: I was talking to the TV.
Grandma: I don't care.
Me: Well, Rob says it all the time. (Sorry Rob.)
Grandma: I don't care.

Sometime after that, I remember watching some movie. I think it was Bachelor Party. Don't remember the movie, but I remember one line. And I said it to my brother the next day. In the living room. With my head on my mom's lap.

"Kevin, It seems like it was only yesterday that I taught you how to give a blowjob."

I had no idea what that meant.

But my face got a little bit slapped for that one.

And lastly, one day I asked my mother if I were allowed to say "crap" (I was about 10 at the time). She said that it wouldn't be a big deal if I said it. She emphasized something about using it appropriately and in the correct context or some such nonsense- I don't know, I stopped listening.

That night I informed my brother Kevin, "I can say "crap" now and I won't get in trouble."
The following scene ensued:

Kevin: No you can't.
Me: Yes I can. WATCH. (calling down the hall) Hey, Mama, what's for dinner?
Mom: Such and such blah blah blah (it was probably venison stew or something...)
Me: THAT'S A BUNCH OF CRAP!!!!!
Mom: (flying down that hallway and in my face in the time it takes me to blink) What sayest thou, ye wretch, ye spawn of demonic filth!? (or a similar, modern castigation)

I think after that I started being a little more careful with my words.